Random dodgy lighting and striped rainbow socks

I had to laugh - the light coming in the window makes me look like I have a super skinny waist 😂. Looks very weird lol

So happy to be properly back in the gym and moving on with my current program. I need more plates though - I had to double up some smaller ones because I'm using the big ones on the lat pulley. Oh well 😉

Oh, and stripey rainbow socks for the win - I am in love and need more, even if my husband said I look like Sesame Street 😛😂.

This is my body

Inspired by the photo and post by Molly Galbraith the other day on Facebook.

This is my body.

I am not a fitness professional. I'm 'just a mum'. I work, I organise kids school and extra-curricular activities, help with homework, I support my husband through a double masters program. Sometimes I even manage to clean my house and catch up with friends for a coffee or *gasp* dinner!

This body has dealt with primary and secondary infertility, miscarriage, anxiety, depression, stress, fatigue. It has struggled with an eating disorder and been both very underweight and overweight.
It bares the scars and tiger stripes of two full-term pregnancies and c-sections. It breastfed two babies for almost 2 years each. It also manages the effects of PCOS, GORD and other minor issues on a daily basis.

But this body is MINE. And it is loved.

In the past it screamed out for help as it dealt with pre-diabetes, constant migraines, sickness, infections and the complete inability to walk up a small flight of stairs without becoming out of breath.

But this body is strong.

This body loves movement. It also loves fruit and vegetables and crisps and cupcakes.
It loves push-ups and pull-ups and leisurely walks along the beach. It also likes late mornings followed by bacon, eggs and strong black coffee.

This body tells MY story. Every wrinkle, every crease, every grey hair, every smile.
I don't want to look like anyone else. I don't want someone else's body (or legs or nose or abs or whatever).

Because then that body would not be ME.

This year I am determined to love this body more. To cherish it's story, to love it's abilities and adore it's individuality.

In a way only I can.

 Because this body is mine.

Easing back into routine.

We got home on Monday and I made time to wander into the gym yesterday morning.

Not to 'work off' my Christmas indulgences though. But to gently ease myself back into routine and do something I truly enjoy.

It's a part of my life now, movement makes me happy, it sets up my day and just makes everything better.

Another gentle session tomorrow with some yoga & stretching thrown in (I've put a yoga mat upstairs in front of the gorgeous sunlit balcony) and I'll be all ready to start back my training program on Monday.

And back to work too 😊

We were having a discussion the other day in my badass lady lifters group 💜💪 about why we lift weights.

We are all at different stages of our journeys and lives, so it was fascinating to know a little more about what makes each of us tick.

For me, what started as simply a weight loss/look better journey has definitely changed into something else the more I learned and grew over the last 3+ years.

Why do I lift?

1. So I don't fall apart later in life. Seriously. With my family and personal medical history, I'm determined to look after my body and mind. I'm gonna be like that little old lady from Madagascar that kicks everyone's butt 😉😂😎

2. Being strong makes me feel capable. I can lift, carry and move stuff around. It makes me feel useful to have my husband ask if he can borrow my muscles 💪❤

3. I really, really enjoy it. It's my 'thing'. And that's the core of it. Very few people would willingly get up at 5am regularly to move heavy things around and get drenched in sweat unless they actually enjoy it. I have been known to grin mid-lift because it makes me so.darn.happy.

I am learning to appreciate what my body has been through so far in my life and what it can do, even with some limitations.

And lifting heavy stuff lets me do more things that I love and spend time with those that I love, which really, is probably the whole point for me.

Deadlift PR

Feeling the love for my legs and those iron plates today.

Some days I head in to the garage with nothing in mind other than that day's workout and the fact that I really, freaking need to chill out.

Deadlift day today. Going through a strength building phase. And today I lifted 58kg/127lb. For a midget like myself, that's 1.45x body weight for 5 reps.

I'm kinda chuffed about that ;)

Maybe today isn't completely screwed after all :)

Clothing cull

Yesterday I bit the bullet and finally cleared out my wardrobe. Anything that was too big, didn't fit properly anymore (hello muscles), or was just not my style is gone. Well, almost gone. Some of it is being given away tonight to a friend. The rest is headed to charity.

I need to find and buy a couple of staples that fit - I own one single simple long sleeve shirt - but otherwise, hello minimalist wardrobe and stuff that actually fits.

Why I take gym selfies

Dodgy gym selfie.

I take selfies for a reason.

Not so long ago I would hide behind the camera. There are very few photos of me and my munchkins when they were little. At group gatherings I would avoid anyone with a camera like the plague. I hated looking at myself in photos. I know I'm not conventionally pretty and all I could see were millions of flaws glaring at me while surrounded by beautiful people.

So I take selfies to try and get myself reacquainted with who I am. I still struggle hugely with my self-perception, but at least I know there are photos of me floating around for my kids to see.

So, this is me, flaws and all. Dodgy selfie skills included. Hot, sweaty and stuffed after a gym session. But happy :)